Wednesday, March 11, 2009


More musings from my ride on the supposed "Sexiest Flight On Earth":

1. I wonder if more people have joined the Mile High Club as a passenger on Virgin Air? When you step on the plane it's not just lit, it's "blue-lit". The boring lights of airline pasts are no longer with us, this is like the coke-den at your favorite L.A. night spot. And to compound the effect even further, there's a low level of pleasant, mind-numbing electronica pumping through the speakers. You feel relaxed, everyone's face is washed clean by the lights, there's gentle, almost romantic music spinning ... and the place offers a fucking chat option. I'm surprised that instead of vomit bags they don't offer condoms and lube. Or that the bathrooms don't feature padded sinks and bars to prop your self up against. I want stats.

2. Also, across the board almost, I found the flight attendants (both male and female) to be far more attractive than before. Gone are the saggy faced holdovers from generations past, these are good looking ladies and lads, sporting hip outfits, cooly monotone voices and the swagger of youth. Sure, I mean with the blue-lit coke room effect fully blasting my visuals, these ladies and fellas could've been 45 year old ex-sex workers and I wouldn't have noticed for a minute.

3. Virgin Air keeps proferring this "state-of-the-art" entertainment center where you can watch television and movies and "chat" with your new "friends" on the airline and people have told me about in the past and I was at least somewhat excited. Turns out the thing's a sham. Not only did I have to embarass myself to the maybe-attractive flight attendant by asking her for a soda and inquiring about the "video game thing" but when I tried to watch sports on my departure flight all I get was fuzz and threatening messages from the Dish Network. If I wanted fuzz, threatening messages, and coddling about video games I could just stay at home in the warmth of 6818 Linden.

This small problem aside though, Virgin Air was if still entirely a cheap-o airline, a refreshingly different flight. I recommend it, especially if you're feeling frisky.

I thought after two beers and a long day in SF that I'd be able to power through the last hour and forty minutes of The Last Temptation of Christ (70) no problem on a sexily lit airplane hovering above the world. That was a poorly thought out plan. I got twenty-five, thirty more minutes in to this slightly snooze-worthy tale of Jesus Christ and his apostles and nodded off, but did muster a few thoughts about the film in the process:

- I don't really know the point of making this film. Sure, it's sort of a human telling of the Jesus myth, but I don't understand how I'm supposed to view it. I don't turn to Scorsese's films for religious enlightenment, but this film is chock full of biblical platitudes about Jesus love and God's warm hands and all that shit I gave up on long long ago. How exactly am I supposed to take this film though? I thought, because of the massive controversy that followed this film to the theatres that I'd be watching a movie that showed a different side of Jesus. For the moment, and I still have, sigh, an hour and twenty minutes of the film left, it's just a pretty telling of Jesus's life. Does this change? Does any body have an answers?

- Scorsese and Willem Dafoe sort of portray Jesus as a new-agey huckster in this film. There's a scene where Jesus is trying to convince the Nazarenes to be his people where I felt like I was just watching Trinity television. It made my stomach roil, hell I wanted to throw a rock at him. He's all big teeth and shiny eyes, trying to draw me in to the embrace of the lord. I almost had my cell phone out so I could call Willem Dafoe and donate some money to the Lord, but pulled back just in time.

- I don't believe I've ever seen a more entertaining portrayal of Jesus changing water to wine. All shit-eating grin and cockiness, Gabriel's synth beats pounding in the background - this film is ridiculous.

Alright, hopefully, lord help me, I can finish this film tonight.

Thursday: The Last Temptation of Christ (70)

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