Recently, I found out that my ex-girlfriend of many years was dating someone else. Yes, this was not the most pleasant realization, and yes, for the last few weeks I've been mulling over the various ways to find said suitor and, well, assassinate him. But amongst all of this roiling sadness, confusion and faux-murderous rage I was struck by how odd a few phrases were:
1. "I just know you'd really like him." (Spoken by the ex-girlfriend)
2. "He reminds me so much of you." (Spoke by the ex-girlfriend's best friend)
Now this is not the first time a former lady love has uttered pap along these lines, but this is the first time I've had a semi-read blog to bitch about it. Seriously ladies, I promise you that every former man-love of yours when introduced for the very first time to the idea that you are currently shtupping a new man-love will not be happy. This doesn't seem outrageous to me, the realization of another brojandro (undoubtedly and inferior brojandro at that) filling your lovin' shoes is a big deal, especially when you imply that I (the former man-love) would "like" the new man-love. As I'm almost certain that my only thoughts towards this new fellow involve the words "pimp" and "slap". To follow up the statement with the ex's best friend implying that this Larry Loser is not only breaking off the former lady something good, but doing so in a way that "reminds" them "so much of you" is the proverbial prison shank in the aorta. I don't want to like this new fella, and I certainly don't want to think he's anything like me. Oh, and I know, you pretty ladies of the world need to rationalize your forward progress with whatever you can get, but next time your in the position of drop kicking the heart of a former flame down the garbage chute of life, try to avoid doing so with the reminder that a) we are no longer with you and b) the person who is has similar traits. We, scorned lovers of the world, prefer to think that you're dating a 8 foot tall cretin with hair on his palms and beastiality in his past. It's just easier that way.
Ex-girlfriend, this slight, well, slight aside, you know I love you. Don't be begrudge me my rant.
Flesh for Frankenstein (27) ended a streak of early Criterion films that I loved unabashedly. Not to say that I did not enjoy this sort of 1980s uber-gay retelling of the Frankenstein myth, I just found it more of a bemused chuckle than a full out laugh. Udo Keir (the trashiest of Euro-trash) plays a science-crazed Dr. Frankenstein that bumbles both his Monster experiment and his tenuous marriage with, well, his sister. What follows is an oft times gory, oft times nudity-filled, some times funny spin on the myth o' Frankenstein that ends in bloodshed and massacre. I don't have much to say about this film, in comparison to The Long Good Friday (26) and the nine or so films that came before, this came off as a jaunty triffle and nothing more. I recommend you do not watch it with your parents, I believe they call that awkward.
I cranked up the first thirty minutes of Fellini's And The Ship Sails On yesterday afternoon and with it hit my fiftieth Criterion film. This has reminded me of two things: I (and you loyal readers!) have a long, long journey ahead of us and I need to start powering through these films at a faster pace if I'm going to complete said journey before the icy fingers of death grip my heart. With only thirty minutes watched all I can say is that Fellini knows how to grab a viewer 0 30s looking film stock, operatic song burst, slow-mo serving scenes, and the air of a pseudo documentary - it's all here, and I couldn't be happier that the 50th film is this one.Fifty down, just over four hundred to go.
Wednesday: Blood for Dracula (28) and And The Ship Sails On (50)
1 comment:
Nice rant. I feel ya, friend-o. Speaking of Criterion Collection, I just watched "The 39 Steps". Pretty entertaining, except for the lame rom-com interlude, which, because it was filmed in the 1930s, really had no rom and the com felt mighty outdated.
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