Please, entertain me for a moment, lean down and smell yourself. One big whiff, and just think for a moment, "What does this smell like?" If you say "baby powder" or a "fresh diaper" and you're not the mother/father of a newborn, well, we have a problem. I don't know if it's my mutant ability to smell suddenly coming to the forefront, but I've been noticing lately that a lot of, and I'm sorry to say, you ladies seem to forgo actual perfume in lieu of just poofing a couple bottles of baby powder on yourselves. True, the majority of the women, and the occasional men, who come in to my coffee shop reeking like they just changed Bilbo's diaper-wiaper usually lean towards a less sightly variety, every once in a while you just get a nice normal, fairly sane individual, absolutely blasting off with the reek of powdered ass soothing. And, jesus, if it doesn't get my stomach rolling. It has to be the most pervasive smell out there (aside from industrial paper plants) - I work in a coffee shop and this smell will waft from the very back of the store in to my nostrils. I worry that perhaps this odor of baby powder has something to do with a medical condition, but lord we can replace a man's arms, we can't make medication that doesn't make sphincter tighten?
So please, take a deep breath, do you smell like you've just powdered your ass? If so, head on over to the medicine cabinet/perfume drawer and toss away the entire Costco size bin of baby powder - it isn't doing anything good for anyone.
This Is Spinal Tap (12) is a modern classic, the first appearance of Christopher Guest and crew, and arguably the most laugh out loud funny of any of his self-made mockumentaries. The story of a British hair-metal band that's fallen on the end of their career, this is one of the great comedies of all time. This is "Smell the Glove" and "this one goes to 11" and the hilariously subtle spread of herpes across three bumbling rockstars faces. You like
Waiting for Guffman (my personal Guest favorite) and
Best of Show but you've never watched
This Is Spinal Tap? Be ashamed of yourself. This is the best of the Guest mockumentaries, the height he scaled first and has been constantly trying to reach again ever since. It's epic, it's satire, it's just pure genius and I implore you to walk outside this very moment and rent it from your nearest video store ... if those still exist.
Tomorrow:
The Silence of the Lambs (12) and
The Red Shoes (44)
This Is Spinal Tap (12) is a modern classic, the first appearance of Christopher Guest and crew, and arguably the most laugh out loud funny of any of his self-made mockumentaries. The story of a British hair-metal band that's fallen on the end of their career, this is one of the great comedies of all time. This is "Smell the Glove" and "this one goes to 11" and the hilariously subtle spread of herpes across three bumbling rockstars faces. You like Waiting for Guffman (my personal Guest favorite) and Best of Show but you've never watched This Is Spinal Tap? Be ashamed of yourself. This is the best of the Guest mockumentaries, the height he scaled first and has been constantly trying to reach again ever since. It's epic, it's satire, it's just pure genius and I implore you to walk outside this very moment and rent it from your nearest video store ... if those still exist.
2 comments:
Depends on your POV, Bro Dimaggio. If you love music and metal, Spinal will win your heart. But if you're like me and you have a background in the theater, Waiting for Guffman is one of the funniest movies ever made, if not THE funniest.
I thought you should know that baby powdered scented deodorant exists.
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