Friday, October 31, 2008


Oh shit, it's Halloweeeeeeeen! Halloweens' the best! The best damn holiday of the whole year. Sure Turkey Day is always a hoot (my family loves drinking!) and X-Mas is a way nice way to say what-up to Jebus and take out a few non-repayable loans from the fam. But c'mon, it's HALLOWEEN! It's the only day of the whole year when you can dress as whatever you want and only be slightly judged by people (unless you live in The Bible Belt and then it's a dark evening of Psalms and ruler whacks). A couple reasons why H-Day is the best holiday:

1. Costumes. C'mon, is there a more entertaining process than the invention of your yearly Halloween costume? First, spend hours (perhaps slightly intoxicated) giggling with your friends about the variety of personas/concepts/deceased ex-presidents you could be (Deceased Ronald Reagan in a full cowboy suit, but still all old and wrinkly? Hilarious!)? Second, scouring the internet for pictures of said outfit, and then jotting down a lengthy list of all the accoutrements you're going to need to bring Zombie Abe Lincoln to the forefront of the costume world. Third, THRIFT STORES! Is there anything better than braving the stanky, bleachy, geriatric world of your local thrift store in a search not for those things you actually need to survive, but a pitch black trench-coat and hopefully a unused waist-length beard? No, no their isn't. The best part of any costume, THE THRIFT STORE. And finally, getting home from a day of work, and putting it all together, while drinking with friends (or alone, Mr. Creepster) and preparing for a night of revelry. Good lord, I'm a little sweaty just thinking about it!

2. Drinking. Seriously, for whatever reason the allowance of being able to wear whatever you want, also gives kids and adults alike the ability to just get blotto on All Hallows Eve. People do the stupidest, thus hilarious, shit on Halloween and it's always, always more fun, because you're IN COSTUME. Sure it's funny when you're friend Jed falls on his drunk ass, but it's even funnier when he's dressed like a giant Pikachu (by the way if you have a friend named Jed, who dresses like a Pikachu, you're either seven and shouldn't be drinking, or maybe you and Jed should be having a talk). Honestly, it was difficult for me, as it is most mornings, to not just start putting back ice cold Rainiers as soon as I woke up this morning, cause, Jesus and all his many children, IT'S HALLOWEEN.

Well, that's pretty much it. I love wearing costumes and I love drinking, thus Halloween = best night ever!

I put The Red Shoes (44) in to the old player last night and was almost automatically turned off because of the entirely unbelievable premise of the opening scene: young, hip students actually wait in line, for hours and hours, to see, uh, a dance recital? Yeah right, what is this a science-fiction novel? I was close to just rewatching basketball highlights for the fourth time, but the movie actually kind of caught me. It's a big beautiful Technicolor epic, and there's just something so damn entertaining to me to see low-level peeps rise to fame under the manipulating arm of an power-hungry, uh, dancer-guy. Seriously, this is a film I was pretty much set to dislike, and I'm really enjoying it. Old movies have an earnest sincerity, unmatched in today's cold, emotionless Hollywood, and every once in a while it just gets me in the old blood-pumper.

It's well known that I love Criterion and their inclusion of The Silence of the Lambs (13) is one of the many reasons why. I mean, if you're watching the films in order, you've just watched Seven Samurai (2) and The 400 Blows (5) and then, blam, all of sudden it's Anthony Hopkins and flesh eating genius Hannibal Lecter and darling little Clarice Starling get crazy person spooge thrown in her hair. You just know, some film geeky Criterion employee was so enamored with this film that he camped outside of his bosses office with his sleeping bag until they were like, "Fine Jeremy, you can have the serial killer movie." Not that this isn't a great film, but seriously, this movie has a dude named Buffalo Bill dancing around in a, heh heh, lady suit (and I'm not talking an Armani shoulder-pad get-up, oh no). Criterion, I heart you.

Drink a ton, but keep it safe! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Monday: Samurai I - Musashi Miyamoto (14) & The Red Shoes (44) cont.


Janessa said...

Hey, our mutual friend Anna sent me a link to your blog, saying it's hilarious.

She's pretty much right. said...

Thanks Janessa!

Really appreciate it.

Keep reading, it'll get better.

wescoat said...

Crazy person splooge. That's one for the books.