Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Well shit, a Criterion crisis.

You know, I'm feeling a little sick of writing the Criterion Quest.

I know, shocking, what with my recent resolutions and cleaning of closets, it would seem that I've hit a movie watching stride as of a late. Yet over the last week or so as I've sat down each and every day to churn out some idea about movies or my life, I've been, well, stuck. I sit and stare and wonder about film and what I'm writing about and I wonder:

What the hell am I doing?

I know my goal, I know my tactics, I certainly know I enjoy writing, but what exactly is the point? What am I doing with Criterion Quest? Who do I write this for? Or, hell, do I write this for anyone but myself? Is this just me wanking off on the screen for my pleasure and my pleasure alone? And if so, is that a bad thing? Do I need an audience? And if so, why? Am I doing this for other people? Or the possibility (distant and vague) that someone will read this (someone with a bag full of money) and give me a fat paycheck and tell the world about my Quest for Criterion?

I. Have. No. Idea.

But I need to change something. And I don't exactly know what that is.

Might be content, might be tactic, might be a length sabbatical. I'm going to keep it up, same as it ever was for a hot minute, but something, something biggish, is a brewing.

Just needed to vent.

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