I hate you Comcast and FOG OF WAR

I hate you Comcast, and by Comcast I mean all of you giant overbearing corporate internet/phone mongering sum'bitches. I hate each and all of you with a special bit of anger I reserve only for those who blatantly drink the general public to ensure they can continue to sleep on beds made of diamonds.

Here's my question: why isn't internet free? Why aren't we all sitting on street corners or at bars or on remote hills, laptops flipped open, enjoying the benefit of the overarching web of free interwebs that embraces us all? Because Comcast and the rest of these big, greedy, assholes know that if everything was free, they'd have a nth of their yearly net gain shaved off and some CEO wouldn't be able to take his mistress to Cancun for her birthday.

Thus, they've tricked us, meanly and without remorse. They've told us that there are hackers and dangerous web criminals out there looking to chop in to our personal computers and drop viruses and steal precious information and that because of these bad seeds we must encrypt our internet. We must throw a password on the free flowing world of the webs so these "criminals" can't look at our flickr accounts and our myspace pages.

In truth though, Comcast and the rest of these heavies just want to build walls, so you and I and the neighbor down the hall can't legally share with each other. As it always seems the more powerful have erected the walls in this newly forged world, and as always, it pisses me off.

And that's why I'm sitting at some cheese-dick, Tom-Jones-playin', cafe right now and not in the comfort of my own home. As my internet is broke and I can't steal from the neighbors. Blast you Comcast.

I think the Oscars were wrong. I'm glad several years ago my favorite documentarian Errol Morris walked away with the gold for Fog of War, his two hour interview with recently deceased former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara. The man's been putting out the best documentaries around for years and Jesus, it's nice to see him get a little credit.

But, I just don't think Fog of War is that great of a film. Yes, it's above and beyond each and every documentary released that year, but in terms of Morris' amazing repertoire of films, it's a bottom feeder for me. The premise: Morris explores the history of America (the more warlike aspects of the country that is) throug the eyes of the exceptionally entertaining and well-spoke McNamara. It's an exceptionally long First Person in truth, a beautifully shot interview interspersed with archival footage as well as Morris' trademark artfully put together reenactments.

And sure, it's interesting, it's well done, the music is beautiful, but I've seen it twice now, and both times (as a solid lover of history) I found it a little boring. It doesn't have the laser beam accuracy of most Morris films, rather a sort of meandering look at life and war and its effect on the people who fought it and those who ran it. McNamara isn't a character you hate, he's a complex human being and when he cries talking about the assassination of JFK, your heart goes out to him. By the end of the film you can almost feel for this man, and the terrible misery his involvement in these wars has created and that's certainly a feat. Read the history books about McNamara and you'll come out with an image of a despicable man. Watch this film and you'll find yourself almost liking him.

And maybe it's my pea-like attention span, but something about this movie drags for me. Two hours of one man talking and I'm half asleep again and again.

Thursday: L'Avventura